individuals

In today’s world we can often lose connection to others and to ourselves.

When that happens, we can unconsciously develop all sorts of strategies to cope: depression, anxiety, anger, addictions or we may have challenges with sex, disordered eating, perfectionism, anger or our esteem. Perhaps we find ourselves in relationships or jobs that are toxic or unfulfilling. We may even start to read about things like codependence.

We can lose connection with our essence and intuition and if we don’t work to get that connection back online through a process of healing (often from our past which continues to impact our present), we will keep moving away from our centre and it will impact our lives in increasingly unmanageable and destructive ways.

Change is possible and if you are in sufficient distress then you are probably ready to do the work to bring it about. When we are in pain, the mind is open to influence and this is when therapy can be most effective.

Let me be your advocate and guide. I will show you a kinder, gentler way to treat the most important person in your life and to be the version of you that brings contentment, ease and peace.

our relationships with each other

Imagine your relationship being one where you both feel valued, safe, connected, autonomous and in each other’s care. Imagine being a two-person system with shared values, goals and agreements that you are both enthusiastic about.

It can sometimes feel as if there are challenges which are repeating and no matter what you try, they always come back.

At other times, something challenging can come out of nowhere, taking you by surprise.

The chances are that our attachment styles (this is our blueprint for being in relationship which is determined in our early years) will be playing a part in almost any rupture, rub or challenge.

It can seem that the problem is the other person or that it centres around one of money, kids, sex, communication, betrayal, selfishness, anger, depression, work/life balance, contribution, equality, team, illness or loneliness.

However, if partners can become experts on one another then they start to see and, more significantly, feel differently and start to work on the relationship rather than each other.

We forget that our partner is our ally and our teammate, not our adversary.

It is possible to move from a seemingly hopeless situation to a secure functioning relationship where you both feel seen and heard and start to experience true partnership.

Clients often ask for tools and strategies for when things come up and there are definitely some skills that couples find very useful and effective. It is also nearly always the case that more than a collection of tools, just like in larger societies, it is a change in the systemic culture (the relationship) that brings about the biggest shifts.

By finding connection to self and each other, you are better able to hear one another and to find a pathway forward. By really noticing the other and understanding their emotional ‘allergies’, you are better able to be in one another’s care and really start to understand that if something is not good for for the individual then it probably isn’t good for the couple.

Sometimes the outcome is not one of union and reconciliation, in which case care and support are still helpful to navigate that path.

Let me be an impartial catalyst and a powerful mirror to what is going on and to create a space where all parties feel heard and understood, to get away from the noise and to see what’s going on underneath.